Welcome to My Illness

This is not meant to be interesting. This is not meant to be any thing except for a desperate attempt at introspection. I may have to write this several times throughout in order to remind myself of this goal.

I am 23 and i’m not having any fun. I am clingy, needy, and fraudulent… especially if it means i don’t have to be alone for the night. I don’t fear being alone forever- at least not in the way that most defeated people do. These last 9 months were supposed to teach me something, but there have been too many men to count. I jump from one to the next, in a never ending sea of options. I am not cut out to be a casualty of casual dating- i am exhausted. My generation has given up on solidarity, support, and mutual respect. I don’t know what I need, but what I want hasn’t been working out either. 

They don’t stick around. They have no reason to. I am too overwhelming and smothering. I don’t know any other way.

Devon Dadoly