No matter who it is- its the same routine- drink for a while, act like we aren’t going to fuck- and then boring, detached sex ensues after their clammy, stiff hands grab my breasts, legs, or face. No hole goes unexplored, but its more of a violation than a pleasurable experience.
I fake most of it, knowing exactly when to make the right noises in the right pitch to seem convincing. They were never physically forceful, I wanted most of it, but never felt satisfied.
I wanted each encounter to end with an epiphany on their part, but most of my nights end with something so sterile as the way they began- “that was the best i’ve had in a while. but this week is pretty busy.Talk soon?”
Most of them, I never heard from again.